sometimes before i pour out a full glass of coke or dr pepper or whatever i’ll fill the glass like a fifth of the way and then stand in my kitchen pretending it’s whiskey or something. then i’ll drink it down in one big gulp and make that grimacey face and pretend i’m thinking of some real deep tortured soul stuff.
oh, the things i do alone in the kitchen could fill a blog.
- Teacher: Please introduce yourself to the class.
- Me: *Lana Del Rey’s ‘Ride’ intro begins playing*
if you go to hell for being bad why wouldn’t satan reward you for it why does he make you suffer wtf id be like hell yeah motherfucker you my nigga lets party
i started to laugh and then i realized that this is actually a really valid question
Alternatively, if Satan punishes sinners, why isn’t he considered good?
If the Pope dies, is he being promoted or fired?
We’re becoming self aware